14 SWITZERLAND: SAY CHEESE!

ON THE ROAD AND IN THE AIR AGAIN
Monday, June 7, 2004. I woke up at 2:30am after hardly sleeping; we were about to take our 1st trip to the Mainland to visit Vidal’s childhood friend Mari in Switzerland! Mike had wanted to leave by 3am; he had offered to drive us to Stansted (yes, the airport on Mars I had booked all our cheap flights out of); Mike was not up. We knocked, called out…Mike- deaf in one ear- sleeps good ear down! Vidal went in; unable to wake him by voice- lightly shook his arm, Mike woke in an instant-startled-grabbed Vidal’s arm as a result. 3 cups of tea and a laugh later, we were off at 315am. The sky was light in the east and the sun rose at 4am – That was wild! Light fog and no traffic, we were able to travel with good speed on the motorway, arriving in 1.5 hrs vs. the predicted 2 hrs. The airport was confusing; thank God it was small. No seat assignments, no food, no frills airline, I was surprised we were not asked to climb up a rope ladder into the plane to save Ryanair £/€ for using stairs and a gate. We flew over France as I munched on a baguette we had to pay €5 for and the most expensive, teeniest can of tomato juice so small it could’ve fit in a thimble. Vidal slept- I suppose my late night packing exhausted him! I sat back and admired the view below of France’s green rolling hills, small towns… and my first view of the Alps- the snow capped mountains were breathtaking! As I was daydreaming I was Heidi climbing a mountain below, suddenly a plane screamed by below us, freaking me out! I took the camcorder out and woke Vidal. It was hard to imagine from way up there exactly how high the Alps were, but the masses of snow gave me a clue. The mountain snow faded to green, and we passed over a huge lake. I imagined it was Geneva, as we had yet to make our descent. We passed by a smaller lake upon our descent - Maggione, the lake on which our friends we were going to visit, Maria and Zenon, lived. Less than a 2 hr flight, we arrived at 9:30am, Italian time, in Milan.
ITALY TO SWITZERLAND: MAD DRIVERS, BORDER CONTROL AND LICENSE PLATES
We landed at Milan’s Bergamo airport; it took us 30 minutes to get through immigration and pick up our bags… No Mari. We called her; she had gotten stuck in traffic. When Mari had told us to book a flight into Milan as it was closer for her, I did exactly that. I had no idea there was more than one airport; it turned out we were at the furthest Milan airport from her-1 hr 45 min from her house! Oh, well. Vidal sat in the front, I in the back. As they chatted away about old memories, I nodded off most of the way out of Italy and to their house in Switzerland, happy to be in a car with a steering wheel in the correct spot and driving on the right. The traffic and drivers in Italy reminded me of Chicago- suicidal. At the Swiss border, we were just waved through. Vidal and I were confused; they hadn’t even asked to see our passports! Mari said it was because of her license plate- Zenon came from a very old family and in Switzerland, each plate number signifies who you are; license plates were not handed out at random. How nice, but I really wanted a passport stamp! My first impression of Switzerland: Orderly. As soon as we crossed the Swiss border, the traffic lightened up; not only fewer cars, but the manic drivers apparently were refused at the border. Although the traffic speed remained the same, drivers seemed to be much more courteous. I noted the big green snowless mountains dotted with villages, the houses all looked Mediterranean. It was not what I expected; no Swiss Chalets or snow. We went through a few mountain tunnels and finally got to their house at 1pm.
THE LOVELY LITTLE SWISS VILLAGE ON THE HALF ITALIAN LAKE: ASCONA
They lived in a very smart Euro style apartment, 6 blocks from Lake Maggiore in Ascona with a large balcony and a mountain view. Zenon worked until 4:30pm. Zenon’s mother and aunts were visiting for 2 days; they stopped by for wine and olives. Mari and Zenon’s 6 yr old daughter, Karla, was eating up all the attention from all the new guests. At 8:15pm, the sun was still high above the mountaintops as we all walked to the lake.

We went to La Torre for pizza, on the Piazza Motta, facing Lake Maggiore. The lake, which is on the border of southern Switzerland with northern Italy, seemed small, and even though we had crossed the border only a few hours ago, it was hard to believe Italy was not far away. Actually, the lake was much longer than it appeared - the width only 12K at its widest part and 54K long; the Swiss part is only ¼ of the entire length. The proximity to Italy made certain things more sense- All signs were in Italian, the houses had a Mediterranean look vs. the stereotypical Swiss chalets I’d expected to see, and we were about to eat authentic Swiss-Italian pizza. Being from Chicago, I am always hesitant to try pizza in places where no Italian neighborhoods existed, and previous to that night, I never thought of Switzerland as a place I would be excited about ordering pizza. Although I was disappointed to be allergic to both wines I tried, we were not disappointed in the pizza; the excellent crust was very much like an old Italian family recipe I knew well from my favorite hometown pizzeria: Roberto’s! I had the spicy salami, Vidal had the 4 formaggio; we topped it with delicious drizzles of olive oil mixed with red chiles. Of course, we finished it off with espresso. Zenon unfortunately got called to work, so the rest of us took a stroll down to old section; roaming down brick alleys, admiring artsy shops amongst old houses and buildings… Still amazed but loving the fact we were in an authentic Swiss town! We saw an artist from California selling his beautiful 8x10 oil paintings of the lake. I really loved his work, but in my mind I had felt it was not right to buy a painting of Switzerland from a non-Swiss, so we didn’t buy anything; which would later be one of my big regrets of our Euro trip… We wandered around ‘til dark-10:30pm -before heading back to the house.
SWISS BANK ACCOUNTS AND A REALLY BIG PIAZZA: LOCARNO
Tuesday, June 8: We woke up to hear the weather forecast of 25 degrees…Celsius; about 77 Fahrenheit! I was SOOOO glad we brought wool sweaters for the beautiful, sunny, dry, hot Swiss weather! After a delicious breakfast of yogurt, cheese, homemade jam and honey from Zenon’s aunt and of course, espresso, we went with Mari to drop Karla off at school and us off at the center of nearby Locarno, a beautiful old town, also on Lake Maggiore. Mari told us a bit about the history of Locarno on the short ride, such as that the lake used to be higher and most houses were above in the mountains. We peeked in on two churches; first at the 17th century Chiesa Sant’ Antonio Abate. A statue of St. Anthony greeted us outside; sadly the façade was under construction. The baroque interior was magnificent; the paintings and frescoes were so very… Italian.

The second church was the older one, the 13th century the Chiesa di San Francesco. Although it was smaller and mostly stripped, it was still very charming with a timber ceiling, rows of pillars and arches, wooden pews; the frescoes that remained were really quite beautiful. In the background, an organist was practicing, adding the perfect touch to our visit. Although both churches had much beauty and art, they felt stiff and cold; neither had the warm friendly feeling we had recently felt the churches in England. We past the old Visconti Castle and waved; rumor has it that DaVinci helped lay out the plans for it. Maybe there will be a new book out about that? The Secrets Hidden in Da Vinci Architecture? We wandered past the old walls of the city and waved at the old stone houses of the Old Section. The old section was made up of quaint narrow windy cobblestone streets; most were one-way, the occasional car driving cautiously, reminding me we were in Orderly Switzerland! We headed to the Piazza Grande by the old section. Large with lots of cars and expensive shops, it was famous as the host of the annual Festival del Film Locarno. At that point, Mari left us to go about her daily errands, with instructions how to get back on our own. We went to a Swiss bank, but it was not nearly as exciting as the Swiss banks in Bond movies, although we had to admit the service was a tad bit quicker than what we were accustomed to in Mexico. That in itself does not say much, as rush hour traffic in Chicago is often more rapid than a bank line in Mexico! We explored the streets around the Piazza - charming old homes on narrow brick streets and some lovely gardens as well. There was a funicular that went 2,000 meters up to the top of a mountain for 35 CHF (Swiss Francs)(about 25 USD) p/p. We didn’t do it. The restaurants were very expensive, so we got some deli sandwiches to go- spending a total of 8 CHF ($10 USD) for 1 regular sub, 1 tiny ‘Chicago’ sub the size of my palm with salami, cheese and butter only. We found a supermarket, bought some Alpine cheese, mineral water and a baguette. We were going to buy cheaper cheese, but the vendor said we wanted that one; good call, it was delish! Vidal HAD to have a cold Coke, so we went on a hunt; 4 blocks and a hundred shops later, we found one – for the bargain price of 5.9 CHF ($5 USD)… WHAT! We walked to the lake, but it wasn’t as nice as Ascona. We walked back to the Piazza for a bit, then FARTed it back to Ascona. You read right, but the Swiss cheese had nothing to do with that… The Swiss may be upright and orderly, but don’t get the idea they do not have a sense of humor… The canton of Ticino, where Ascona and Locarno are located, has a convenient regional public transportation system: the Ferrovie Autolinee Regionali Ticinesi, better known by its acronym- FART. To add to the humor for us English speaking folk is where they put the FART logo… Where else? Right above the tailpipe!

THE ORIGINAL SWISS WATCH
We wandered the streets of Ascona in search of the painter we had seen the night before. He wasn’t there, so we went to the waterfront; found there was a craft market that was closing down (it was 5pm). We hurried through, saw a real ‘Swiss cheese’ watch for 45 CHF that has a Swiss farmer and his cow on it. We got a great laugh, but didn’t buy it… Vidal did buy a beautiful Austrian crystal necklace for me, then we walked back to the apartment for a siesta… At dinner with the family; Zenon told us the recipe for Parmesan cheese was actually stolen from Switzerland, who as we know had always been famous for their holey cheese. He said every region, every Swiss canton had its own type of ‘Swiss’ cheese, each unique; I was ready and willing to try each and every one of them! Vidal was talking to Karla about Zihua and asked her if she remembered when they went to the laguna to swim. He would say something, she would respond as if she remembered (‘you wore sandals’, or ‘we went in to the water’), but we could tell she really didn’t remember. He said something about going to the laguna, and she said, “No fuimos a la una, fuimos a las seis!” We cracked up; she had misheard him. Vidal replied, “No a la una, a la laguna!” We watched the Euro pre Olympic games take place in Ostrova; Bekele broke another one of many world records of the 10,000 meter race.
RIVERSIDE ROCK ART AND BUNGEE JUMPING
June 9: Another beautiful Swiss day! We went to the Maggia River outside of Ascona with Maria and Karla in the Valle Maggia-Magic Valley. The valley was dotted with the occasional quaint tiny village. While mostly we saw Mediterranean style houses, we did get a glimpse of some very old traditional stone houses with flat stone roofs. We parked near the tiny village of Moghegno with a far off glimpse of its quaint 17th century stone church and then took a lazy walk along the river. Our 1st stop on the river was along a long stretch of pretty rocks (I took a small shiny one).

Someone had stacked rocks there in different forms, like a rock art garden; some were balanced unbelievably well! Vidal and Karla made their rock art sculptures to amuse Mari and me. Our 2nd stop was to cross the Avegno suspension bridge while I tried my balancing act without falling, easier said than done for this blonde! Mari thought it took us across to a path to a waterfall, but the path led only to private farms. We came back a different way on a steel bridge over Ponte Brolla, part of the Maggiatalbahn- a former scenic but now defunct railway that had gone through the Valle Maggia. We only got halfway across, as we stopped to watch a small boy- about 10 yrs old- attempting to bungee jump with his family, something like 200 meters down. Poor kid; he was scared stiff and his whole family was trying to make him jump! Finally they told him it was okay and someone else jumped. Once he saw them jump, he thought he had the courage to do it, got geared up again, got scared again… then when his family stopped pressuring him and turned their heads, he just did it! As this had dragged on for 15 minutes, we decided to leave the river and head to Monte Verità.
THE SWISS AU NATURAL COMMUNITY
Mari said it was a famous place where many writers, philosophers and artists would go. We assumed it was just a place with a pretty view… Monte Verità was a ‘Co-operative vegetarian colony', AKA a communal nudist farm with ‘progressive thinkers’ that dated from 1870 AD; in other words- New Age in the 19th century. Their roots were in socialism and vegetarianism; they later reached out to the masses by opening the Monte Verità Sanatorium, a sun-bathing establishment. The colonists "abhorred private property, practised a rigid code of morality, strict vegetarianism and nudism. They rejected convention in marriage and dress, party politics and dogmas: they were tolerantly intolerant." -Tolerantly intolerant? Huh. You don’t say! It is now part museum part state park. Mt Verita sat at the top of the mountain 350 meters high, overlooking Ascona, with a spectacular view of the lake. In a clearing was a beautiful mosaic tile, a circular design with a sunflower in the middle and a path leading away from it to other paths, reminding me of the beginning of Munchkinland’s Yellow Brick Road.
It was called Chiara’s rainbow, the description given said

- A colorful trail radiating energy and mental well-being, where we feel the need to relax, recharge our batteries and restore balance to our physical and mental energy. There are places in which harmony is created with special energy, which the ancients chose for sacred places.

Ooooo-kay. A bit far-out for me…I suddenly had visions of men and women dressed in long flowy robes billowing in the wind, barefoot, dancing around in the breeze while waving rainbow colored scarves or butterfly nets while scattering flower petals everywhere. We walked around the grounds, it felt eerie. There were 3 visible buildings, an outhouse with al fresco showers in the middle of the yard-no walls, no curtains, just a pole in the middle of the yard with a showerhead, nothing else; sleeping quarters and a cabin-like kitchen that now hosts old photos of people baking their buns in the grass and a man tending the garden with nothing but a hoe and his shoes. That was enough for me; I much preferred my vision of the barefoot colonists in flowing robes over the photos of them in their birthday suits! The last building charged admission, so we left; a sign on the outside gave homage to those who understood ‘higher spiritual life’.
SWIMMING ON ICE
At 3:30pm, we decided to cool off on the beach on Ascona. It could have been any small lake in the Midwest -lots of flat grass with several picnic tables for a lovely family day at the lake; plenty of trees to give you shade. The beach was not too big, but very pretty; full, yet not packed, with plenty of sunbathers soaking up rays. It could have been a typical hot summer day in the Midwest; it was hot out and the lake looked yummy for a dip. We left our belongings, including our shoes, in the grass (Ascona not being the kind of place you need to worry about someone taking off with your Nikes) and strolled leisurely through the soft grass over to the beach. The hot sand sparkled, but OUCH- our steps suddenly quickened- the sand was HOT! Vidal ran right in and gave quite a holler at the same moment I had tested my foot in the water… it was like putting my foot in a bucket full of ice water- ICE cold! Vidal was brave, he went swimming with Karla for about 10 minutes, whereas I ran out screaming, deciding it would be wiser to just take a siesta in the grass in the sun for an hour.
CUT ‘EM OFF AT THE PASS
We went back to the house, rested, packed and had a quick but delicious pasta dinner, We were going to the house where Zenon grew up in Central Switzerland; we had a date with a Cheesemaker the next day. We left at 8:30pm; I fell asleep for the first 45 minutes. In lieu of the more direct highway through tunnels, we went through the scenic route- through the Pass up in the Alps; I was fully awake for that! It was breathtaking - as were some of the curves in the road! At some points there were walls of snow around us, slowly melting and the ground was quite wet, but not dangerously so. Although it was still a bit light out, it was very dark below between the mountains; the tiny lights waaaaaay down in the valley below let us know two things: That there was a town, and we were REALLY high above it!
We pulled over high up on one mountain to take photos; I unfortunately only had black and white film in my camera. Back down the mountain, we could see lightening in the distance. In the lower mountains, we could see many horsetail waterfalls from the melting snow. We hit the rain about 10pm, but as we were already back down on the highway, we went mostly through tunnels so it didn’t bother us. Night fell about 10:30pm; we got to the house in Dallenwil about 10:50pm.
WOOLS SWEATERS AND BEAR RUGS
Zenon’s family home was a beautiful 3-story house, it even had an elevator! The kitchen was huge and had a big, high technology stove you could not get burned on if you touch the burners. Very cool, especially for those of us living in Mexico who are lucky if we can find a stove with a working oven; electric stoves are nonexistent. There was a huge garden out back with a lovely deck, and all surrounded by mountains. The family pet, a black tomcat- Maggie, played chase with the bunnies in their garden.
We toured the trophy room; Zenon hunts yearly in Africa and donates the meat to the villages. There were furs and heads of various animals such as a bear, a zebra, and lots of little horned trophies. The fact the meat went to feed poor villages made it not seem so weird to me. Vidal and I sat outside having a beer in the dark, I was relishing in the fact that it was soooo cold we needed jackets; the wool sweaters I had brought were finally being used!

THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON
June 10: Our last full day in Switzerland… We left with Mari, Karla, and Zenon’s mother Ida at 9am to take a couple of funiculars 1700 meters up from Oberrickenbach to Zenon’s uncle Sepp’s house on Hüttenalp, near Bannalp in the Canton of Nidwalden; Mari’s brother Ruben and his girlfriend Gaby joined us.
Gaby is a very sweet, tiny and muscular blonde; she spoke German, English and Spanish- the latter 2 coming in handy for us! We first took a tiny funicular waaaay up, to what seemed like the top of the mountain.

As the funicular was not that high off the ground, it was very deceiving as to how high up we were actually going. The funicular sat 4 people, it was metal, painted red, and with glass windows.
We passed streams, cows, an eagle, loads of pine trees and the few houses that dotted the mountainside here and there; we tried to spot Heidi and practiced our yodels on the way up. We got off at the end of the line, walked up a few yards to the next funicular- even tinier and more ancient that the first.

It was wooden, no glass on the windows and a door that barely closed; we held on for dear life and took it to the top of the mountain. We had to walk down about 5 minutes to get to the house, surrounded by mountain peaks – a few of which were still topped with a bit of snow, although the one we were on was not. Birds were singing, and I heard a sound I thought sounded very much like wind chimes, it sounded so lovely! As I didn’t know the word in Spanish, I did not ask Mari where the chimes were coming from.
THE CHEESEMAKER AND THE MOONSHINE
We got to Sepp’s house; an old wooden house not far from the summit. On our way there, Mari had told us Sepp would show us how he made cheese. I was totally unprepared for what I saw - he made cheese alright - but in mass quantities and sells it!

People would hike up-looking like something straight out of a Swiss Hiking magazine in hiking gear, suspenders, backpacks and walking sticks-to buy cheese all throughout the morning. And what awesome cheese it was! We bought 2 wheels before we left to take home with us. Sepp showed us the cheese making process - not that we understood a word he said in his native Swiss-German language!

Something about the milk and something in the big copper bowl, then for so much time - hours? days? weeks? months? years? - before doing something else to it, then putting it in something else for another process, pouring it later into the moulds, transferring them to certain shelves for a period of time before they were ready…But he was so friendly, like a Santa Claus; he even let us taste the cheese in the various stages. Cheese Heaven! When all was said and done, the cheese would age for 1 year. He also made his own anise schnapps…
HEIDI AND THE WIND CHIMES
Gaby said the people up there on the mountains were the ‘Real Swiss’. I not only felt that was true, I was sure Sepp was Heidi’s beloved grandfather. We walked around outside the house - nothing but mountains and more mountains as far as the eye could see. We did spot some people climbing to the top of a nearby mountain in the snow with Ruben’s binoculars. It was sunny and chilly, but we didn’t need anything more than our sweatshirts. I kept hearing the wind chimes, it was so lovely!
We wandered around the back of the barn to see the cheesy cows; that was when I realized the wind chimes I kept hearing were not wind chimes at all- they were actually the cow bells! How pretty, but sooo glad I had not known how to say wind chime in Spanish to make a fool of myself by asking Maris where the chimes were!
CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN..

We walked down a bit to see what we could see- just lots of grass and lots of cows, with beautiful mountains all around… Sepp had a Lassie dog and a beautiful tomcat that was super friendly… We sat with the others, listening to the Swiss-German language and enjoying Sepp’s hearty laugh. Ida had made us a typical meal of the area- macaroni with potatoes, fried onions, cream and topped with what else? Swiss cheese! Yummy! We washed it down with a bit of schnapps, followed by a delicious spice cake.

Ida had shown us the house she was born in near the 1st funicular. She said she had grown up climbing all of the mountains there, and she still did. Everyone there was very much in shape. I just kept thinking how awesome that day was, so perfect in every way. We were so blessed to be there, to be part of it! Only downfall- no bathroom; no outhouse. Life in the wilderness, indeed!
After exchanging yodels with Sepp and Vidal’s Mexican Grito, we said our sad auf Wiedersehens …
CUCKOO FOR LUCERNE

Mari took Vidal and I 20 minutes away to Lucerne. A beautiful city, very Old European; it sits off the Reuss River which meets Lake Lucerne. Mari took us to the Kapellbrücke – the Chapel Bridge, a picturesque covered wooden bridge with old paintings; the bridge with its tower was the city's most famous landmark. First built in 1333 as protection for the city and rebuilt in 1889, part of it had burnt down in 1993 from people smoking on the bridge. Even though the bridge was not a necessity- other bridges have since been built to carry vehicles over the river- the town voted for it to be rebuilt; it was part of the town’s history.

The interior was decorated with a series of 17th century paintings of the city’s history; 30 of the paintings survived the fire, the remaining 81had to be recreated. We crossed the old bridge and admired the paintings, the choppy river flowing below us, and the beautiful buildings along each side of the river. Afterward, we went to explore a bit of the town; I was on a mission to get a cuckoo clock. Unfortunately, it was a holiday and most stores were closed, the only ones which were open were the very expensive tourist trap places. Instead of bringing one home for us, I bought a small one for my brother Rob to remind him of the one our grandparents had brought back from Switzerland on their Euro-trip. We crossed the river to admire the lovely St. Franz Javer Jesuit church; it had a beautiful white gilded interior with a striking painting on its beautiful wooden altar.

FROM YODELS TO TUNNELS
The whole day was spent in central Switzerland; we had felt like we were finally in Swiss country, as everything looked exactly like the Switzerland we had envisioned; we would not have blinked an eye if Heidi had come out to greet us. The houses were the Swiss chalets we had expected to see when we arrived. Even the signs in Swiss-German felt more Swiss. And the day in the mountains! It was sad to leave this beautiful place. We stopped at the house in Dallenwil to pick up our stuff and have a quick bratwurst-knackwurst grill before heading back to Ascona; we took the highway all the way this time. It rained, but as we went almost exclusively through tunnels (including Switzerland’s longest of 17k), it didn’t bother us. We were home by 9pm, time enough for me to pack and check emails-no luck still on finding a car for our Spain road trip or flight from Pamplona to Rome-We’d have to do that from our next stop-Barcelona the next day!
THE THINGS WE HAVE TO DO FOR A LOUSY PASSPORT STAMP….
June 11: A 5:30 wake up call to say goodbye to Switzerland. I wondered how any place we would go to could be better than those last few days were; it did not seem possible. And yet somehow I knew it would. God’s plans, His creations never ceased to amaze me. Zenon took us to the airport in Milan; crossing the border out of Switzerland, we were again waved through and were not even asked to see our passports, but we asked Zenon to stop so we could get a stamp. What good is a passport if not to show where you have been, and that was without a doubt, a magical place we would have to remind ourselves we had actually been to; our passport stamps would be our proof…

For more information:
Ascona: http://www.myswitzerland.com/en.cfm/destinations/resorts/offer-Destinations_Resorts-General-111634.html
Vallemaggia: http://www.magicvalley.ch/
FART : http://www.centovalli.ch/index_e.htm
Monte Verita: http://www.monteverita.org/monteverita/content.cfm
Locarno http://switzerland.isyours.com/E/guide/ticino/locarno.html
Central Switzerland: http://www.myswitzerland.com/en/infra.cfm/rkey/2167
Lucerne: http://www.luzern.org/en/welcome.cfm
Oberrickenbach: http://kanuland.myswitzerland.com/en/orte_detail.cfm?id=315376
Kapellbrücke: http://www.3dcity.info/luzern/html/lucerne_chapelbridge.html